I am getting ready to start the school year again soon. Only this time, I will have my own classroom for the first time. I am super excited, scared, nervous, and many other adjectives that elude me right now. I have SOOOO much to do to prepare- room prep, lesson plans, curriculum development, etc. At the same time I am trying to deal with the loss of the priveldge of staying home with Johanna full-time. It has been a fabulous summer full of fun times together. We've had play-dates, swimming fun, story-time, lunches out, and lots more. It has been a blast. I've really enjoyed having time to cook dinner and just be mom. I am sure that my perspective on staying home was slightly skewed by the fact that I knew I would be going back to work in August. I am sure that it gave me a little more patience to know that my stay-home mama days were numbered.
On the other hand, I couldn't ask for a better career as a mom. I get home early and have quite a few holidays. I love teaching. I know that this is what the Lord has planned for me during this season of my life. He worked everything out. He provided a job and childcare in a way which left no doubt about His hand and blessing in the matter. This being said, it doesn't make going back any easier.
Isn't it ironic that us moms are always our harshest critics. I have been able to see things from both perspectives. As a stay-at-home mom it was a struggle to not feel like everything always had to be perfect. If the laundry wasn't done, the house not clean, or dinner not cooked- it was difficult to not feel guilty. When I am at home I feel like I should cook or bake the cake no matter how crazy the day was or how tired I am. However, when I am working I have absolutely no guilt about ordering that pizza or getting someone else to make the birthday cake. When I am working, every second that I have at home gets spent on the floor or on the ground playing with Johanna. When I am working I can ignore dirty floors and a huge pile of laundry and not feel as guilty about it.
I guess it's all about the expectations we put on ourselves. After being on both sides, I just believe that us moms should support each other and not be too critical. We never know the struggle or the reasons that someone else does what they do. And we all always have our harshest critic staring right back at us every morning. I think one of those is enough.
1 comment:
I couldn't have said it better myself! There are benefits to both sides of the coin...I definitely struggle with the challenge to find a good balance for my family and myself. It's hard enough as it is, who needs a nosy critic!
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