Syndromes...mine or my child's?

Life with a 3 year old....definitely a new kind of normal to say the least! Why is it that some parents, or should I say "I", always try to have our kid(s) avoid the life defining characteristics that society may deem "not the best". What the heck does society know anyway? Have you taken a good look around out there lately? I have been to Walmart at 11 p.m.....I know what society looks like, so I am not sure why I even care!

Where is this coming from you may ask.....there is a newsflash coming: JOHANNA IS AN ONLY CHILD. That's right. I said it. Go ahead and assume what you want about any possible reasoning, but the bottom line remains the same. I find myself constantly talking about this point with everyone...including the mom just standing next to me at the library. I haven't decided whether it is just me being self conscious about the fact that she is an only child, societies pressure to have more than one child, or a combination of both.

Regardless, I have decided that I am tired of fighting the battle of taming those "unwanted" only child characteristics everyone is always talks about. So, here are some notes of importance to people who are unsure of this only child thing...

1. She does know how to play with other kids. She was in the care of other people with other children during the school year since the time she was born. But even if that weren't true...she would be FINE. Good grief people, it's not like we're hermits. There are children for her to play with EVERYWHERE from cousins to play-dates with friends to library fun.

2. She does know how to play by herself. She has time everyday where she gets to entertain herself. We call it "rest time" since she still still takes a nap during that time at least a few days a week. But, sometimes she just plays. The only rule is that she has to stay in her room (and not play with her non dress-up clothes, and not get into her closet, and not play with her curtains, and not call for me unless blood is involved...I guess more than one rule). She does this very well. I would like to say that I do this to teach her creativity and to have the ability to entertain herself, but lets face it- 75% of the reason for "rest time" is called MOMMY'S SANITY.

3. She does get a lot of individual attention. IS THIS SUCH A BAD THING PEOPLE? What do you want me to do...ignore her? When she asks me a question, am I supposed to pause for an extra 30 seconds and pretend that I have another child I am dealing with? The fact that she gets a lot of individual attention does not mean that I don't teach her what I see as common manners, sharing skills, patience, and to not interrupt when adults are speaking. What it does mean is that she could tell the difference between a pentagon and a hexagon at age 2...not because she is a genius but because she has a math teacher mom who is her number one playmate.

4. She still watches T.V. sometimes. I TOTALLY admit that having one child at this age isn't nearly as difficult as having more than one. DO YOU HEAR ME???? I KNOW THIS!! She can do a lot for herself and it is usually pretty easy to leave the house. However, I do tire just like most human beings, and have been known to occasionally let her watch TV. Ok, she watches some pretty much everyday. Guess I can kiss good-bye the Mother of the Year Award. Oh well. Let me pause while I shed a tear...ok, done.

5. Lastly, I am still allowed to talk about how dealing with a high energy 3 year old can be difficult. That DOESN'T mean that I am saying my life is harder than yours, so I DON'T need some comment about how I should try doing it with 2 or 3 of them. That is NOT PRODUCTIVE. Why do moms always feel like they have to be so DARN competitive? Can't we just be there for each other instead of feeling like we should point out how we've had it worse?Geez.

6. If and when I have more children is pretty much not anyone business. I personally think that having another kid just so that Johanna isn't an only child is a pretty lousy reason to have another baby....at least without considering all other life circumstances. I mean, how would you like that to be your story?

"Mom and Dad, Jonny's parents were telling the story about when they decided to try to have him. They told him their family felt like something was missing, and he was it....the missing puzzle piece. Is that why you had me?"

"No. Sorry sweetie. We just thought your older sister was possibly bored or that she would generate better personality characteristics is she wasn't an only child."

That would make me feel GREAT.

I guess my bottom line is that I think we, as moms, should give ourselves a little grace about how we handle our children (no matter how many we have). Let's face it, we will never do everything right in other people's eyes, but do we really care?